Hello Tuesday

      Happy Tuesday

Today I'm joining Holly and Sarah, and a few other bloggers, for today's Hello Monday link-up, where we say Hello to the week with a look at what's going on in our lives at the moment. However, I’m a day behind in posting…

 So what's on my mind?

one

I love time with my family.

After living away from them for so long, I appreciate the time we have together so incredibly much.

This weekend’s been such a treat.

Easter service at Church

Meals together

Playing a game

Laughing

Chatting

Just hanging out

I love it!

two

Special Olympics was Friday.

We took two of our guys.

I wish I could show you a picture of their smiling faces, but since I can’t, I’ll just share the one above. But trust me.

Our guys had the time of their lives!

I loved seeing all of their hard work and dedication pay off. It was such a special day, that started with a parade send-off at our school, and ended with two excited little guys happily showing off their ribbons and telling everyone who’d listen how well they did.

My teacher heart was full of pride for our athletes (and also for the other 450+ athletes) who competed in our county’s Special Olympics day events.

three

The 10th anniversary of my dad’s death was the other day. And 10 years ago, today, we held his funeral. And at times, it feels like just yesterday… I so miss him.

I wouldn’t call him back from Heaven if I could, knowing how much better it is for him there.

But yeah. I do miss him.

four

I love being in the country.

Back roads

Big fields with wooden fences

Cows and horses

Farms

No bright city lights

No loud city noise

Just pure, simple country living.

One day…

five

A student’s grandma came one day last week and helped us make this cute Easter themed craft.

Is it not the most adorable thing ever :)

six

It’s currently Spring Break here.

And while I love my students so incredibly much, I also am so incredibly grateful for some time off. And yes, I’m also grateful for a short break from the metaphorical piles of paperwork too :)

seven

If you've made it this far, thanks.

Thanks for reading my random thoughts.

Happy Tuesday, Y'all

10 years ago

   Tomorrow will be the 10th anniversary of my dad passing away. And since I’ll be on the road, heading out of town, I’m writing today.

My dad passed away 10 years ago.

The day before my his 56th birthday. And only 9 days before my parents' 31st anniversary. And me? My heart was feeling the intense weight of such a significant and painful loss. 

Now that I’m back in the US again, living in Alabama, I’m missing him even more. He was always so supportive of my ministry in Senegal. But he was always so happy when I could make a trip back too. 

And knowing how much he loved living down here way back when, I know he’d be thrilled with me here. And I often find myself wishing I could pick up the phone and call/text him about stuff going on, get advice, ask him to pray, or to invite him to come down for a visit and to go eat his favorite seafood meal.

By the end, my dad was so sick, though. So even though, I do so desperately miss him, I wouldn't dare call him back. Heaven is such an incredible place, a place where he's no longer sick, no longer hurting. He's whole again. And Heaven is for sure better than this mess of a world we're all living in now :)

 

While I had a few months shy of 30 years with my dad, I must admit that I’m quite annoyed that those 29.5ish years was all I got. 

And sometimes, I truly wonder why... 

I wonder why he had to pass away so young. I wonder why our family had to deal with this huge loss. I wonder why, if I ever get married or have children, he'll never get to meet them. I wonder why my mom has to be a widow. I wonder why she’s had to deal with so much since he passed away. I wonder why my nieces will only have just a few memories of my dad - a man who absolutely, positively loved being a Pawpaw to those girls. 

But even in my wondering and my sadness, I'm still thankful for some things. I’m thankful for all the time I did have. I’m thankful for so many cherished memories I did have/do have. And im thankful for so much more…

I'm thankful for a Christian heritage he continued with our family. 

I'm thankful for the love of learning he passed down to me. He would love that I’m considering going back to school. After all, we joke that he was basically a professional student. 

I'm thankful for the memories of his laugh and his joy for life.

I'm thankful for 29.5 years worth of happy memories.

I'm thankful, that even though, I'll never get to experience having him at my own possible wedding or births of possible future children, I was able to see the immense joy/pride/love he showed on the day of my brother and sister-in-law's wedding and of all the time he joyfully spent with my beautiful nieces.

I'm thankful for so much.

And yes, I do still miss him terribly. 

But, I can smile, thinking of him hanging out with Jesus and talking to all the people from the Bible whom he loved to read/study/preach about for all those years. What a fun time that must be! 

My dad loved the Lord with all his heart. And he loved sharing about the Lord with anyone who would listen. In fact, my dad preached his last sermon from his hospital bed exactly one week before he passed away. Using Romans 8:18 as his primary verse, he reminded us that, though we may experience suffering and pain here on earth, we can trust in the hope of our Savior. We can trust in the knowledge that if we are saved, we will experience that glory that is beyond compare.  And now, today, I am so incredibly thankful that his words are permanently etched into my memory. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I've written memories-filled posts every year on the anniversary of his death, which can be found below. While still sad, it's nice for me to be able to look back and remember how God's been with me through the past years' anniversaries...

1 year

2 years

3 years

4 years

5 years

6 years

7 years

8 years

9 years

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today, I'm linking up with  Erika and Andrea for their weekly Friday Favorites link-up. Because, while thinking about my dad's death obviously isn’t a favorite, thinking/talking about my dad is an favorite. After all, my dad was, and always will be, one of my favorite people.

Hello Monday

      Happy Monday

Today I'm joining Holly and Sarah, and a few other bloggers, for today's Hello Monday link-up, where we say Hello to Monday with a look at what's going on in our lives at the moment.

 So what's on my mind?

one

First up, it's been a while since I last wrote on here. 3 1/2 months, to be exact. Why such a long time? I don't know. I wrote more frequently while living overseas because it was a way to share my life with those back home (i.e. family/missions supporters). 

But now? Now, it just feels different.

Writing has always been sort of therapeutic for me. 

Writing in journals. 

Even writing papers in school.

Writing on here.

Writing a book (that I keep stopping/restarting over and over)

You get the gist.

And while I miss it, my heart just hasn't been in it.

...which sounds more "melodramatic" than I mean it.

But still.

Anywho - I love writing. Maybe getting back on here, writing a post full of my random thoughts/feelings, is the first step in getting back into it.

two

Work is...

Hard. 

Rewarding.

Stressful.

Fun.

All the things.

I love teaching. I always have. I enjoy being with my students and teaching them. I'm probably one of the few people who actually loves planning lessons and activities and looking at the data and completing the puzzle that is planning in such a way, as to meet all of their incredibly unique needs and abilities. I can't say I love when it's all happening all at once AND when the curriculum / requirements are changing so often or when I struggle with fully understanding the government/state requirements that force me to teach kids a certain way when it's clear to see they need something more. That part is overwhelming.

But, with that said, when parts of the job get incredibly overwhelming (hello ridiculous amounts of paperwork, I'm talking to you), I remind myself of all the parts of the job that I do love and enjoy. And they make it totally worth it all :)

three

Spring Break is soon. We have 5 more school days, including today, actually. Not that I'm actually counting, though... No, I'd never do that ;)

Our Spring Break is super late compared to everyone else's. But I can't complain too much. We did get a full week off for Mardi Gras this year. And we had that random week off in January because of snow/ice. So there's that.

All I know is it's Testing Season, IEP Season, and all sorts of other stuff is going on too. So, even though I truly love my students, I also know that I, for one, am most definitely looking forward to Spring Break.

four

10 years.

A decade. 

That's how long it'll be (on this Friday) since my dad passed away.

At times, it still just doesn't feel real.

I so miss him.

I'll write more on that later this week

But yeah... So many thoughts/emotions swirling through my head.

five

EdD

Dr.

New letters possibly being added to my name.

It's looking more and more like this will be happening.

I love being a student.

I love reading and learning and researching.

And yes, I realize that makes me sound like such a nerd.

I recognize it adds more to an already full plate.

But I enjoy it. 

I had a call with the admissions advisor last week and I started working on my application this weekend (and will finish over Spring Break next week). And at this point, it's looking more and more likely that I'll be enrolled as a doctoral student either this coming Fall or possibly, the Spring.

Once it's all official, I'll share more info about the program.

six

My local Panera has become my office away from the office.

It started because I still don't have internet at home and while the cell service is strong enough to have my phone set up as a hotspot, it's not quite strong enough to do long periods of work like I often need to in the evenings.

So I'd go to Panera once a week, treat myself to dinner, and knock out all sorts of computer work.

Then IEP Season started. And I needed Panera's internet even more.

And as I look ahead at starting another degree program in the coming months, I'm thinking I'll have even more evenings spent there as well.

And let's be honest... Their delicious menu helps too.

So thanks Panera. You're pretty awesome :)

seven

I've been back from Senegal for 10 months.

I know that I was so incredibly burned out (burnt out?), that when I left, I truly didn't know if I could ever teach or be in any form of ministry again. I was hurt from actions of others. I was struggling with a lot. And even though I cried pulling out of the school campus that day (and again at each airport layover on the way here), I knew it was time. I was ready to leave.

But there are days...

Days when I miss it.

Days when my heart literally aches from missing it.

Missing friends.

Missing the kids.

Missing the sense of familiarity.

Missing the place I called home for the majority of my adult life.

Missing community.

It's weird.

To love two places so much.

Senegal will always hold a special place in my heart.

And as I said on social media last week, while I do wish things had ended differently, if they had, I probably would not be where I am today. So in that sense, I guess I can admit that I'm glad things happened in a way that forced me to make the decision to leave. 

After all, because I left...

I get to live in a city which holds the largest amount of my childhood memories.

I got to move my mom in with me, giving us the opportunity to make up for the 14+years in which we lived a few thousand miles and an ocean away from each other.

I get to see my family so much more frequently than before.

And even if I don't see them all the time, at least phone calls/texts don't cost a small fortune anymore. Yay for no longer dealing with the expense of international calling!

I get to experience life in my passport country again.

God led me to an incredible school (with incredible administration/co-workers and an incredible team of individuals to work with).

God has gifted me with super cute/fun/incredible students I get to call "mine" - students who enjoy life and are full of energy and fun and an excitement for learning.

And on and on.

And while I'd love to tell you everything's 100% great and wonderful and unicorns and rainbows, that'd be a lie. I still struggle at times. 

But hey, who doesn't?

However, I am in such a better place today than I was when I first arrived back in the US ten months ago.

And for that, I'm grateful.

eight

My mom.

She's an amazing lady.

Her life hasn't always been the easiest.

But if you want to hear an example of someone who is hardworking and an overcomer, pull up a chair and I can tell you all about this incredible woman.

We may not always see eye to eye.

We do occasionally get on each other's nerves.

But we love and appreciate each other.

And the biggest gift of returning to the US has been the chance to reconnect, so to speak, with her. I will be eternally grateful for the opportunity to have her live with me, to spend so much time together, to chat until late in the night, to go on adventures exploring this city we now call home, and on and on. 

April is a hard month for my mom.

My dad passed away on the 19th.

...a day before his 56th birthday.

...9 days before their 31st anniversary.

And this year is the 10th anniversary of his death.

So yeah, April is hard.

And the next few weeks will be even harder.

If you're the praying type, will you say a prayer for my mom?

Pray for God to provide extra strength and peace and comfort during this more difficult time of the year for her. Pray that He'll flood her mind with all sorts of good memories. Pray that she'll feel extra loved and cared for. Pray that she'll be comforted and reminded of the joy and knowledge that my dad is no longer sick and hurting, but rather whole and rejoicing with His Savior. Pray that she'll see reminders of the love of a Heavenly Father who sees and acknowledges her pain and helps her through it.

nine

If you've made it this far, thanks.

Thanks for reading my random thoughts.

Happy Monday, Y'all