The 10th Dear ________ Post

Dear Mom and Dad, Today is your anniversary. 28 years...Wow! I pray that one day I'm as blessed as the two of you and to have just half the love the two of you share. I love you both so very much! Happy Anniversary!

Dear Late Nights, You and I just do not work well together. I start shutting down around 10:00. I'm such an old person, aren't I? :)

Dear Thursday, According to my first graders, you were the best day ever! :) We made pizza and cookies and then we went to visit our local pond and zoo for a fun field trip, followed by a picnic lunch (of our homemade pizza and cookies, chips, and carrot sticks) at the park. While I was so tired and slept like a baby that night, it was so worth it to see those excited, smiling faces all day. Thanks for being such an awesome day Thursday.

Dear Sunscreen, Why are you so easily forgotten? Can you say, ouch?!

Dear Introduction to Pentecostal Doctrine, You're one of the Berean (AG licensing) courses I'm taking right now. I have learned so much! You have so much information packed into one book. I am definitely loving you!

Dear Entertaining, I love you. I love having people over. I love cooking for people. I really am a people person. :) For various reasons, I haven't been able to do this much, but I really love it when I do. And I'm looking forward to definitely being able to do this a lot more next year.

Dear Ceramic Travel Mug, At first, I considered not buying you. After all, you're heavy and take up a little more of my luggage weight allotment than I'd prefer. However, in the end, I am so glad I did decide to buy you. You are the perfect size for my morning cup of tea and the best part is that you are microwaveable!

Dear A Year Ago Yesterday, You weren't that great of a day. A large portion of my home state of Alabama was wiped out by tornadoes. There were so many lives lost that day. ...not to mention all the homes and businesses gone too. Many places Alabama were forever affected by this and, while they're in the process of rebuilding, will never be the same. A little closer to "home," on this day last year, my dad was in a hospital who had a wing clipped by one of the many tornadoes. My dad's health was already in limbo, having recently recovered from 2 heart attacks, a few surgeries, and a severe bout of peritonitis that almost killed him. His recovery was in limbo at the time. We really didn't know if he'd make it. But, A Year Ago Yesterday, we didn't know what we know today and my dad is still here with us today and hopefully will be for a long, long, long time! :)

Dear Breakfast, I normally don't eat you. But since I've been staying with kids that do eat breakfast and making it for them, I've been enjoying your morning goodness. And Breakfast, I think you and I will now have a lasting morning partnership.

Dear Longest Work Day of the School Year, You were yesterday. While it is an extremely exhausting day - having to be at school at 7:20 a.m. and not being able to leave until around 10:00 p.m., it's actually worth it. Getting to see all of those big smiles on the kids' faces, hearing reports of children praying the sinner's prayer, hearing the kids excitedly tell their parents about all the fun they had... It makes up for the exhaustion felt by the teachers. I really do so love my job! :)

The 9th Dear _______ Post

Dear Picture of Self, I kind of like you. (said in a non-prideful way, of course),  

Dear Noise Cancellation Headphones, WOW! You're amazing. I used you a few nights in a row when I was working on grad school work and didn't want to hear the sounds from the highway or loud, screaming babies, or the barking of all the stray dogs congregating in our neighborhood right now. 


Dear Worship Music, I've always liked listening to you. But lately you've had a more common presence in my life. When I'm cooking or working in the kitchen, I turn the volume up on my ipod and let you go. (...sorry neighbors) :) I have you playing in my classroom when I'm working before/after school and during planning times. I have you playing on my ipod when I'm running. And lately I've noticed that I've started doing something new - I keep catching myself humming or quietly singing a worship song at random times during my day or even falling asleep or waking up with a song in my head. I'm loving it! 


Dear Facebook, It's been (gasp!) a week since I last got on you. And you know what? I'm ok. :) I'm sure I'll be back. After all, you are a great way to stay in contact with my missions supporters, family, and friends. But I really need to focus more on God and grad school work (since I only use you when I'm at home), and less on you. And while I know I'm definitely not addicted, I could definitely spend less time on you. Therefore, I'm going to continue with my break from you. 


Dear Banana Bread with White Chocolate Chips, When I saw I still had a few white chocolate chips left and a few bananas about to "expire," I knew immediately I wanted to experiment. And oh my word! You were heavenly! :) 


Dear Jacket, I've worn you a lot this week. I thought cool season was over, but I was happily mistaken. :) 


Dear Psych, What's up with having such a big cliffhanger for the last episode of this season? I realize you'll be back, but not 'til the Fall. That's sooooo long to wait to see what happens! 


Dear Spring 2013, I got a notice this week that says I'm eligible for graduation during you. It's so hard to believe that it's finally about to happen! ...well in a year :) I am a little sad that I'll miss my actual graduation, though. But you know, I think it'd be just a little hard to fly back to the States for graduation on Saturday and be back in Senegal on Monday for school. What do you think? :( 


Dear 47 Days, That's how many days, from today, I am away from seeing my parents. While I love Dakar and will definitely miss it while I'm gone for the summer, I'm so happy to be able to get the opportunity to go see them while school is out for the summer. 


Dear Crockpot, You are an awesome invention. I love that I can put Saturday's lunch in you on Friday night before bed and you cook all night long. You make life just a little bit easier. Thanks for that! :)


Dear Saying Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am, In the southern United States you are a sign of respect. Kids could get in trouble for not saying you. So it was really hard for me to get used to teaching children that don't say that. ...because in everywhere BUT the South (U.S.) people don't say that. In fact, it's even considered NOT respectful in some places. Anyways, this week I got a new student whose mom is from Alabama. The first thing her mom says to me is, "Make sure she says yes ma'am and no ma'am." :) This may seem silly to some people, but it has made me smile every time this sweet little girl says ma'am at the end of her response to me. It is so sweet and refreshing for this southern lady's heart. :)

The 8th Dear ______ Post

Dear Dakar, I  missed you while I was gone, first to London for vacation and then to Saly for our mission's retreat. I've missed seeing your people. I've missed speaking French. I've missed the sights and smells of this city I've come to love so much. It's good to be home. Yes it is.

Dear First Graders, As much as I enjoyed my Spring Break, I was glad to get back to work this week. I have missed your hyperactive loving selves. I have missed your sweet smiles, your big hugs, and your sweet spirits. I have missed your eagerness to learn. I have missed your zeal for life. I have even missed your often clinginess and neediness. I have missed hearing "Teacher Teacher" and the one-word question, "Why?" a zillion times a day. But most of all, I have missed teaching the 9 of you each day. I am so grateful for the call God's placed upon my life to be your teacher.

Dear 26 Pounds, I've slowly lost you since January. I didn't believe it at first when I saw that number on the scale, but it's true. My waist line and baggy pants (well, clothes in general) prove it. And whether or not anyone else ever notices it, I don't care. I'm happy for and proud of myself. :)

Dear African Wedding, Today I experienced you for the first time. And wow! What an amazing experience you were. It was so fun to wear my nicest African dress. It so so fun to experience this joyous occasion with Christian brothers and sisters from a different culture than my own. I loved it!

Dear Stockpile of Canned Goods, My roommate and I created you when we were receiving constant warnings of political unrest and possible lockdowns. Now that things have settled down, it looks like we'll be eating canned food for a LONG time.

Dear iTunes Gift Card, When you were given to me by a friend this week, I was thrilled! Yesterday I uploaded you and now, I can't wait to start using you. What a fun surprise you were this week!

Dear Plain Rice Cakes, Some people think you're incredibly bland and disgusting, but I disagree. I bought a big bag of you while in London, and am slowly working my way through your deliciousness. :) 

Dear The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson,  You were recommended to me by a friend. I am so enjoying reading you! I have read, reread, and reread again each chapter. I've never read a book like you. I am literally "getting" something new every single time I read you. You were a wise investment. Yes, you were.

Dear Holy Spirit, I thank you for your comfort and for your guidance. I thank you for your awesome gifts. I thank you for being such a strong, present part of my life. I was discussing you with a co-worker yesterday and we both were saying how incredibly blessed we feel by getting to daily experience you, your gifts, and your overall goodness. It's so great to know that if I start to feel the smallest bit of sadness or loneliness, I can turn to you. That's a hope worth having. :)

The 7th Dear ______ Post

Dear Krispy Kreme Donuts, When I saw that signature Krispy Kreme sign in the London airport, I knew I just had to have you. All week I thought about your glazed goodness. And finally on Wednesday, the day we left for Dakar, I got to buy a half-dozen of you. I carefully rationed them, even sharing with a friend. Man, you were an awesome treat! :)

Dear Cold (...as in sickness, not temperature), You are one souvenir from my London trip that I wish I'd lost. Runny nose, sore throat, coughing...ugh! ...so not fun! 

Dear Flip Flops, I am so so so so happy to be reunited with you again! You are definitely my top choice of footwear.  

Dear Pillow, I know you were sad to be without me for a whole week. I'm sorry to have left you behind. Know that you were definitely missed. I even brought you with me to the beach for the missions retreat I'm on right now. No hotel pillow can ever measure up to your awesomeness. :)

Dear Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada (PAOC) Missionaries in West Africa, Thanks for inviting us American AG-ers on your retreat. These past few days have been just the spiritual refreshment that I was needing. It's so great to get together with fellow missionaries and Jesus-lovers and worship the One who created us. I love this!

Dear Book of Philippians, I am learning so much from you. It always amazes me to read about Paul - what he went through and all the while, he was still praising God. He still had joy. I could definitely learn a thing or two from him. 

Dear Professional Development, Can I be honest for a second and say how I truly feel? "UGHHHHHHH!" Yep, that's how I feel. After a 2 week long vacation (Spring Break), to have to come back and sit in meetings all day... Being honest, I'm just sooooo not looking forward to you.

Dear Lesson Planning, I am so so so glad I did you before leaving for London. It was so nice to open my plan book and see full pages. There's one thing I can check off my To Do List. :) 

Dear Easter, You are tomorrow. I get so overwhelmed to think that God gave the ultimate sacrifice. He gave His only Son for us. Did we deserve it? No. Did that matter? No. Yet, He still did it. Thank you God for your sacrifice. Thank you for giving me, someone who definitely does NOT deserve it, the chance of having eternal life with YOU. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for loving me.

The 6th Dear ______ Post...a few days late

Welcome to the London Vacation version of a "Dear ______" post...a few days late :)

Dear Green Grass, Wow! I forgot how beautiful you are and how much I missed you. And yes, I did take my picture beside you like the green grass-deprived person I am. :)

Dear Closed Toe Shoes, Man, I do not enjoy you. While I appreciated you keeping my feet warm and dry, I came to realize that my feet have a major case of claustrophobia. Yep, that's it. This girl is a lover of flip flops. That's for sure.

Dear British Accent, I love you...especially on cute British men. Let's be honest. :) Anyways, I wish I could perform you correctly. But alas, my "Southernese" accent just doesn't cooperate.

Dear Underground (aka the Tube or the Subway), I didn't think it could be done but it could. I mastered you and your complicated map of lines and changes and overall confusingness. :)

Dear Grad School Professor, Thank you for giving me an extension on this week's assignment. It was so nice to not have to worry about doing any assignments while on this trip.

Dear Dakar, While I'm grateful for this vacation and time away from you, I still miss you and am looking forward to being reunited with you in a few days. :)   

Dear Grocery Stores, I loved walking up and down your neatly arranged rows, looking at vegetables that were (gasp!) clean enough to eat on the spot, at the variety of choices, including many American products, and at aisles and aisles of labels written in English. ...but just so you know, quite a lot of things I could buy more inexpensively in Dakar. Go Dakar! :)

Dear New Testament, Lately I've been focusing my daily Bible reading in you. I feel like I'm finishing something "new" every day. I love that. I love reading passages of scripture that I've read many times before, but having something "new" catch my eye. Isn't God so cool for allowing that to happen?! 

Dear God, I feel so blessed to have gotten this opportunity to visit this amazing city, to see places I've always dreamed of seeing, and to enjoy this time of relaxation and refreshment. I'll never forget this trip. That's for sure. And I look forward to coming back here again. :)

Acceptance

Acceptance. We all want it. We all strive for it. We (if we’re nice) want others to feel it as well. But do we give it to ourselves? I don’t. …or, I haven’t.

I have spent my whole life comparing myself to others. I have never felt pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough, smart enough, even Christian enough. I have never felt that I was truly a good daughter, sister, friend, missionary, teacher, even Christian. I love having people over for dinner, but I stress so much that something won’t be cooked perfectly or things won’t be arranged perfectly or something will go wrong.

I have honestly never felt that I was that great at anything. Did I do anything well? Sure. Did I believe that? Not at all.


I have always compared myself to someone else. …the skinny girl, the pretty girl, the daughter that lives near her parents that helps and takes care of them, the friend that does everything right, the missionary winning soul after soul for Jesus, the teacher with the most well-behaved class, the hostess with the mostest. :)

Why do I do this to myself? Think of a snake hiding in the grass, watching quietly, until just the moment that the weak thing comes out, and then he attacks. Then the venom from that attack courses through our veins and spreads until it’s totally consumed us. The snake is the devil. The weakness is our insecurities shining through. The venom is devil and his lies.

For too long, I have let the devil do this to me. I have let him have access to my mind. I have let these insecurities eat at me and eat at me, until they have totally consumed me.

A friend and I are reading a book called 21 Ways to Peace and Happiness by Joyce Meyer. One chapter deals with Self-Acceptance. I have never been so emotionally affected by a book (other than the Bible, of course). Ironically enough, my friend and I decided to skip around and read through the chapters out of order and we just settled on this one. I thought it was so ironic that it was this week, when I was feeling my lowest, that God brought this chapter to my attention. 


The part that stuck out the most was, "God made you. His design was perfect. God doesn't make mistakes. How can you put yourself down? How can you criticize yourself? When you're doing that, you're telling God that He messed up. You're criticizing God. How DARE you criticize your Heavenly Father or one of his perfect creations?" 


Wow! Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect. None of us are. We all make mistakes. But this has really changed my thinking. I have no right to criticize myself. I am a creation of God, the Father. I was made in the image of God. It's like a saying I once saw on a t-shirt..."God doesn't make junk."

The 5th Dear ________ Post

Dear Spring Break, I have never in my life been so happy to see your arrival! My plan is to finish with lesson planning, etc. by tonight so I don't have to do any work over the break. Bring on the relaxation and fun!

Dear Roomie, Thank you for staying up past midnight with me and helping me peel and cut all those veggies. The help was definitely nice. The laughter over this week's episode of Psych (that was in part due to a little deliriousness from needing sleep) was nicer.

Dear Sharpening Pencils, I absolutely positively HATE you. Ugh! It's got to be the most tedious, annoying job EVER! ...not to mention, how you gave me 3 blisters on one hand the other day. Thank goodness standardized testing and sharpening 20 pencils a day is over! Thank goodness also for a T.A. that is amazingly awesome and will sharpen pencils for me! :)

Dear Strawberry-Kiwi Flavored Water Packets, When my mom sent you to me a while back I was happy. I absolutely LOVE you! I even set the box off to the side to save for a time when I really really wanted them. ...thinking I'd ration them for as long as I could. :) Guess what I lost and then found this week! Yep, the yummy strawberry-kiwi flavored water packets. Yay for me! :)

Dear Baby Brother, It's so exciting reading your Facebook posts and emails and seeing pictures, telling about how y'all are getting ready for your little one's arrival. I am so proud of you Little Brother. ...proud of the man you've grown up to be. I know you're going to be an awesome father!

Dear Fractions, You are so confusing to my first graders. It took them forever to understand the idea of "1/2." But "1/4"...Man, that's a doozy. The funniest question one boy asked me yesterday was, "Teacher, why did God make one fourths? Why didn't he just stick with the easy stuff like one wholes?"

Dear Angry Birds game, You are my fun thing to do at night before bed. You help me clear my head before heading off to dream land. There's nothing like watching an angry looking bird fly across the sky and crash into a smiling green pig. ...fun times, fun times. :)

Dear Birthday Treats in the Teacher's Lounge, You were a wonderfully delicious surprise yesterday morning. ...especially since I forgot breakfast. YUM! :)

Dear Ponytail, Oh how I've missed you. It's nice to eliminate those extra few minutes of time during my morning that it takes to fix my hair. Does that make me sound lazy? Probably. Do I care? Not really. Bring on the ponytails and two extra minutes of sleep! :)

Dear Living By Myself, You will be occuring next year. On one hand, I'm not terribly excited. I'm sad to not be living with a roommate and friend. And just being honest, I may be 26 years old, but I've never liked being by myself in a house at night. BUT, on the other hand, though, I'm still in a way looking forward to being by myself - decorating the way I want, watching what I want, eating what I want, entertaining when I want, etc. So some days it's still a toss-up as to whether I'm happy or sad about it...