Feelings on Being an Aunt

me and my beautiful sister-in-law with my niece still hibernating in her mommy's tummy

I found out over Christmas break last year that my sister-in-law was pregnant with my first niece. At that point, my view was it would be incredibly exciting if she were born while I was in the States this past summer. ...not to mention possibly being born on my birthday. 

Then I got "home" this summer and my view changed. I couldn't imagine the thought of having to say goodbye to her yet. In my line of work, saying goodbye to loved ones is a sad but constant reality. But this was different. I felt different about this baby who wasn't even born yet. My view was that saying goodbye to this precious little baby would rip my heart out. So knowing her due date of arrival was not until the end of August (3 weeks to the day after I was scheduled to leave the U.S.A.), I was honestly a little happy.

Then 2 nights before I leave I have to suffer through saying calmly say goodbye to my brother and sister-in-law. And in the back of my mind, I had a feeling. ...a feeling that Miss Daisy might be arriving sooner than everyone anticipated. I'd already looked up the numbers for Delta so I had them ready to call and change my ticket. And if that wouldn't work, I'd talked to someone else that could take me to the airport since I knew it was more important that my parents be at the hospital awaiting the birth of their first grandchild. But I get ready to leave 2 days later and nothing's happened. 

On the day I left (the 7th), my sister-in-law had a routine check-up. I'm sitting in the airport in Birmingham when I get a phone call from my dad and I just KNEW. I answer it and hear him say, "Guess where we're headed." Yep, she was in labor and they were headed to the hospital. At this point, my view still was at least I didn't have to say goodbye. So throughout the rest of my time in Birmingham, then during my layovers in both Atlanta and New York, I stayed on the phone with either my parents or my brother. When I land in Dakar in the wee hours of the morning the next day, she's getting close. I spend all day alternating between sleeping off jet lag, working, and checking my phone and email for an update. I'd already decided that sleep was overrated so I'd be staying up no matter how long it took and wait for the news. And then finally at a little after 9:30 p.m. (my time) I received the following picture from my brother with a note saying, I'M A DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At that moment I was excited over being an aunt. I was excited for my brother and sister-in-law becoming parents. I was excited for my mom and dad becoming grandparents. But at the same time, I was sad. I was sad that I couldn't be there with my family. I was sad that my niece would be a little over 4 months old when I would meet her for the first time. I was sad that I'm going to miss the majority of her life (at least the growing up years). And I was also afraid. I was afraid that she'd be scared the first time she met me since she wouldn't be able to see me that much. 

But my brother, sister-in-law, and parents have been supplying me with a steady stream of pictures and videos like the ones below.

And yes, I will miss things. And yes, I'll still be sad at times because I miss her. But even though for the majority of her life I'll be living a few thousand miles and an ocean away, I know that I can always have short visits to the States or have Skype video calls. And  know that my family will still supply me with pictures, like the ones above and the one below, so I can feel like I'm there.

Repeat after me... Awwww :)