My Heart

That's my dad and me this past Father's Day.

God knows I loved that man. 

And now...

Now he's gone. Just like that. He's gone.

As for me?

I'm here. ...externally processing and baring my heart and soul once again for all to see.

It's hard.

On the one hand, I'm so happy for him. 

He suffered so much these past few years that we're all so grateful He's finally in Heaven with our Savior. What a blessing to spend your birthday in Heaven, dancing on the streets of gold! I love that!

But on the other hand, I'm so sad. I'm so truly, utterly broken hearted. I feel like a hundred pound weight is sitting on my chest, just crushing it. It hurts that bad. 

I'm happy. But I'm sad.

I'm rejoicing. But I'm mourning.

I'm grateful. But I'm sorrowful.

I'm at peace. But I'm in pain.

I'm missing that sweet man so indescribably much. 

But you know...

I wouldn't call him back from his eternal heavenly home for anything in this world.

I'm going to miss you Daddio.