A Change

When I was 19 years old, God laid Mark 16:15 on my heart.

It was with that verse, that God first called me into missions. At the time, I couldn't fathom the thought of leaving my family, or small town Alabama behind. And all I knew about missionaries were that they were preachers and church planters and that just wasn't me. I was, by no means, a preacher. So how could/would God use me to further His Kingdom in that way? At least, that's the thought that started going through my head. But I trusted in Him, the One who called me, knowing He knew in which direction my life would go.

 On July 30, 2009, I arrived in Dakar, Senegal for the first time. I was a week shy of turning 24 years old and while I was, indeed, nervous, I was also so incredibly excited for what the future held for me as a teacher at Dakar Academy. When the then director and my roommate picked me up from the airport, I couldn't fathom all I'd experience in the next 14 years. In fact, in that moment, I truly couldn't see myself staying more than one year. But I did stay more than that original year. In fact, I stayed for 5 years before leaving the first time. Was it always easy? No. Was it exciting and fun? Usually. Was I 100% sure I was in line with what God had called me to do? You bet.

I did go back to Alabama for 1 year and 7 months. During that time, I worked as a teacher in Selma, Alabama, falling in love with that culturally rich city, my co-workers, and my students. I loved teaching those kids. Boy, did I. And I also, was able to have the gift of serving my parents. My dad's health had drastically deteriorated. And I will never ever regret those 9 months I had, living back with my parents, working in the US and being able to support/help my parents during that time, and the time after with my mom as well. But as ones called to the ministry, themselves, they understood the pull to get back to the field to which one is called. And for me, that was getting my feet back on Senegal's soil. 

So with the support and blessing of my administration in Selma, my parents, my pastor and church, AGWM, and most importantly, God, himself, I landed back in Senegal in February 2016 to finish out the school year with a group of 10 precious 4th graders, one of whom, I'd even taught as a 1st grader as well. I think due to the transitions they had that year, it helped us grow even closer and so when our principal at the time asked if I'd loop up with them to 5th grade, I happily jumped at the chance. We had even more kids join the class that year, including some who after that year would no longer have a spot available for them at our school, due to certain levels of special needs. But my heart and mind couldn't handle the thought of that. So I wrote a proposal, sat in meetings, was turned down twice, cried more times than I'd like to admit, and stuck to my guns knowing God, Himself, had laid this dream on my heart. And finally, in October 2016, I heard the "yes" I'd been praying for.

I spent time fundraising. I contacted embassies and mission organizations looking for more students. I worked hard. And sure enough... In August 2017, that dream God laid on my heart became a reality. We opened the doors to a self-contained Special Education class, the only one of its kind, at the time, in our part of Africa. That first year we only had 3 students, but God helped us grow every year, until we were almost literally bursting at the seams. It wasn't always easy and I faced a lot of opposition, especially in the beginning. But God knew and God continued to provide over and over again. I'd be lying if I said the last few years weren't difficult. But God continued to provide. And now, here we are in 2024, about to finish our 7th year in this classroom, with the last of the original class members soon to be graduating and heading off to college in the Fall. 

And that brings me to the point of this post. When I started my class, I made a commitment to certain families to see their kids through to graduation. So at the end of last school year, when I realized that time was approaching, I began praying, asking God to make the decision clear on whether I should stay or go. I prayed about it. I consulted with my pastor, my mom, my mission supervisors, and a few other close friends, asking them to help me pray as well. I knew the decision to leave my school would be a difficult one. I love the calling God placed on my life all those years ago. I love the reason my school was started over 60 years ago. And I love my students. So I knew, if I were to leave, again... God would have to make the decision crystal clear.

At the beginning of this school year, God placed Isaiah 43:19 on my heart. And so I spent lots of time in prayer and in my normal, annual "are you staying or leaving" meeting with my school supervisor, I felt total peace about my decision. God made it absolutely clear that it was time for me to go. And y'all... It was like a weight the size of an elephant had been lifted off of my chest. I knew that, even though it would still be an emotional exit, it was, definitely time to sign that form saying I would not be returning at the end of this school year. So after discussing it with my AGWM supervisors and my school supervisor, I turned in that form. 

And now that my missions supporters and loved ones have been notified, I can finally do what my external processing self loves to do... Write what's been on my heart. I can share about my upcoming change and ask for prayer. I will be resigning from both AGWM and my school at the end of this school year (in June). I still support both organizations. There are amazing men and women working for both of them, doing amazing things for God, in the goal of helping with the advancing of His Kingdom. My love for missions and education will never go away. I will always be a supporter and advocate for both. However, I do 100% feel God is calling me away from overseas ministry, and calling me back to the US. What will I do? Will I still be in ministry? Will I still teach? I honestly don't know the answer to any of those questions. All I know is that I am going to continuing following God's leading and I'm open to whatever that might be. I'm just taking the first step and waiting to see where He leads me.

And in the spirit of honesty, I want to also say, that while I do have peace about this decision and know it is definitely of God, I'd be lying if I said it isn't emotional/hard to think about the goodbyes I'll be saying in June. Goodbye to the city/country I've called home for the majority of my adult life... Goodbye to the school that I've taught at since 2009 (minus the 1.5 years in the US halfway through)... Goodbye to the friends and co-workers who I've made/met along the way... Goodbye to the culture and the goodness that this place has to offer... And hardest of all - Goodbye to the students and parents and families who I've gotten to know and love... While many of my (current and former) kids are graduating this year, not all are... And y'all, the goodbyes to the kids are what will be the most heartbreaking. 

But as a friend recently said... God knows.

God cares.

God loves me.

And God loves each and every one of those incredible kids.

And now, to wrap up this incredibly long post, I want to once again say, what a gift it's been to have had this life for 14.5 years. The memories I've made, and will continue to make in the next few months, are enough to last me a lifetime. I will be forever grateful to AGWM, DA, and all of the men & women and churches who have supported me over the years to continue in this ministry (and who will continue supporting me the next few months). I have been blessed. 

Change isn't always easy.

But with God, it's good.

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I'm joining Holly and Sarah, and a few other bloggers, for today's Hello Monday link-up, where we say Hello to Monday with a look at what's going on in our lives at the moment.