You Know You're From Alabama If...

You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.
You go to Gulf Shores every summer.
You call the Atlanta Braves baseball team "us" like they're actually from Alabama.
You would much rather visit Florida than California.
You don't "take", you "carry" or "tote"... as in "You want me to carry you down to the store?" or "You want me to tote that box for you?"
A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke. "What kind of coke do you want?"
You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart.
You've said "fixin' to" at least once during the last week.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
You know the meaning of the phrase "Fobbed again."
You can properly pronounce Arab, Eufaula, Opelika, Loachapoka, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta. You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and you know someone who eats them anyway.
You think that people who complain about the humidity in other states are sissies.
You aren't surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
You measure distance in minutes.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what "cow tipping" is.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas (which often feels like summer).
You know whether another Alabamian is from east, west or middle Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.
You visit Wal-Mart at least once every other day.
You can drive without your license because you know if a cop stops you he'll know you and let you go.
You know the difference between redneck, hillbilly, and southerner.
You think everybody from the north has an accent.
Y'all is a word.
There is no such thing as tea.. it's sweet tea.
If a single snowflake falls, the town is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, and toilet paper. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.
Your directions include "when you see the Waffle House" or "turn on the dirt road."
You say "sir" and "ma'am" if there's even a chance someone is even thiry seconds older than you.
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.There is nothing but country on the radio.
Almost everyone you know is Baptist or Assemblies of God.
A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.
You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the only doughnuts that exist.
You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.
You don't assume the car with the blinker light on is actually going to turn anytime in the near future.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
You actually get these jokes.