Lately, I've been feeling like this. Why?
Next week, my parents are moving to another state, in another part of the country, to be senior pastors again. I'm so excited for them, because I know they've been longing to be full-time senior pastors again. They deserve a good church that will treat them the way pastors should be treated. On the other hand, though, I can't help but feel sad. They're moving. I want to be there. I want to help pack and load the u-haul. I want to reminence with them. I want to say goodbye to the house and the community. Plus...and this is me being totally self-centered, thinking only of myself...but now I'll have added expense this summer flying or driving 14 plus hours back and forth between being with them in Kansas and speaking at churches and visiting family in Alabama.
School (both as a teacher and a student) is going well, just full-force ahead. I love it. I love my class. I love my school. I love my co-workers. I love my college classes. I just seem to stay soooo incredibly busy. I keep volunteering to do more and more and even though I usually like staying busy, I seem to be staying overwhelmed right now. I keep telling myself, "Be the best teacher you can be. That's all you can do."
I have always been the type that didn't really care what other people said about or thought of me. But lately, I can't seem to get past other's negative, and sometimes hurtful comments. I know I'm not perfect people. Yes, I mess up. Yes, I realize I don't have the greatest habits. Yes, I still want to do exactly what my parents want me to do. I don't want to buy or do something that I know upsets them. I don't want to disappoint them. And yes, I'm 24, an adult and out of my parents' house and can make my own decisions. I know all this. I don't need you to criticize me for my decisions, though.
Yes, I'm sad about my parents moving. I know I'm out of their house and I'm 24 years old. And yes, I know Africa is my home now. But still...it's hard. Please don't tell me to get over it. Please don't tell me it's crazy to be sad about this. Just let me "grieve." Know that it's hard to have your family go through something and not be able to be with them.
Last night I hit a point where I just felt so overwhelmed that I just felt like I was almost drowning, barely holding my head above the water. I felt like I had fallen and couldn't get up. I was on the phone with my mom, crying my eyes out, and just didn't see how things could get better. And then my mom said something, that helped me. She said "Elisabeth, take one day at a time. That's all you can do."
So I've decided that's what I'm going to do...just slightly modified. I'm going to take it one thing at a time. Right now I'm going to worry about my class (once they're back in the room). I'm going to teach them to the best of my ability. I'm going to love them, nurture them, encourage them, and do my absolute best today to help them grow. Then after school I'll deal with tonight's big dinner. Then after that I can deal with the cake I've got to make for tomorrow. Then I'll deal with homework. Then, I'll deal with the next thing. And so on and so forth.
And it's true...I may have "fallen" right now, but unlike that commercial, I WILL get back up. I have God, my family and friends, my missionary community, and the Word of God on my side. And that gives me such awesome HOPE!
So...when you read this, please take a few seconds to lift me up in prayer. And I know others are going through this as well. So, don't just pray for me. Pray for your family, friends, and co-workers that might be going through something like this. Take the time to simply smile and say hello to them, to ask about their day or their family, to just be there to listen to them.
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