9 Years

  On this day, 9 years ago, my dad passed away.

It was the day before my dad’s 56th birthday and only 9 days before my parents' 31st anniversary. My heart was feeling the intense weight of such a painful loss. And as time has passed, I can't help but wonder what if... What if he hadn't died so young? What if he'd been around for all that's happened in the past 9 years? 

As I prepare to move back to the US, I'm realizing one thing I'm missing in this process is my dad. I'm missing his advice and his prayers. I'm missing his support and encouragement of my ministry here and I'm missing his excitement over me coming back home too. There have been so many times in this process that I have wished I could talk with him about what I've been thinking or feeling and to get just a small bit of his wisdom, and to hear him pray for me again. I always knew I could count on him to do all those things.

By the end, my dad was so sick, though. So even though, I do so desperately miss him, I wouldn't dare call him back. Heaven is such an incredible place, a place where he's no longer sick, no longer hurting. He's whole again. And Heaven is for sure better than the mess of a world we're all living in now :)

 

While I had a few months shy of 30 years with my dad, I'm secretly (or maybe not so secretly) annoyed that that 29.5ish years was all I got. 

And sometimes, I truly wonder why... 

I wonder why he had to pass away so young. I wonder why our family had to deal with this huge loss. I wonder why, if I ever get married or have children, he'll never get to meet them. I wonder why my mom has to be a widow. I wonder why my nieces will only have just a few memories of my dad - a man who absolutely, positively loved being a Pawpaw to those girls. In fact, I've known few other men who were made to be a grandparent like my dad was :)

But even in the sadness, I'm still thankful for all the time and memories I did have/do have. I'm thankful for a Christian heritage he continued with our family. 

I'm thankful for the love of learning he passed down. 

I'm thankful for the memories of his laugh and his joy for life.

I'm thankful for 29.5 years worth of happy memories.

I'm thankful, that even though, I'll never get to experience having him at my own possible wedding or births of possible future children, I was able to see the immense joy/pride/love he showed on the day of my brother and sister-in-law's wedding and of all the time he joyfully spent with my beautiful nieces.

I'm thankful for so much.

And yes, I do still miss him terribly. 

But, I can smile, thinking of him hanging out with Jesus and talking to all the people from the Bible whom he loved to read/study/preach about for all those years. What a fun time that must be! 

My dad loved the Lord with all his heart. And he loved sharing about the Lord with anyone who would listen. In fact, my dad preached his last sermon from his hospital bed exactly one week before he passed away. Using Romans 8:18 as his primary verse, he reminded us that, though we may experience suffering and pain here on earth, we can trust in the hope of our Savior. We can trust in the knowledge that if we are saved, we will experience that glory that is beyond compare.  And now, today, I am so incredibly thankful that his words are permanently etched into my memory. 

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I've written memories-filled posts every year on the anniversary of his death, which can be found below. While still sad, it's nice for me to be able to look back and remember how God's been with me through the past years' anniversaries...

1 year

2 years

3 years

4 years

5 years

6 years

7 years

8 years

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Today, I'm linking up with  Erika and Andrea for their weekly Friday Favorites link-up. Because, while thinking about my dad's death isn't necessarily a favorite, thinking about him is. After all, my dad was one of my favorite people.

Friday Favorites

Happy Friday, Y'all

 In an effort to be more intentionally grateful, I'm going to start rejoining Erika and Andrea for their weekly Friday Favorites linkup and sharing a few of my favorites (and maybe some of my not so favorites too) from the week.

First up, are these shirts and water bottle stickers which my fellow co-Senior Class Sponsor and I got as a back to school gift for our crew...

 

It was so fun passing these out, and making the kids pose for a commemorative first day of school photo which we sent to their parents, telling them moms and dads always appreciate pictures of their babies, no matter how old they are ;)

And of course, we wore our shirts too :)

And speaking of the first day of school, I was pleased to be back in my save, favorite classroom, ready to see all my favorite people back again for the new school year.

I added this little quote, of sorts, to my computer as a daily reminder of my reason for being here... I love my students and the fact that I get the opportunity to work with them each day. They're such an incredible blessing!

Another favorite of the week was walking home to the smell of freshly cut grass on our soccer field, which is on my walk home. I love that smell! I also love seeing grass on our field. For so many years, it was a dusty field, with no grass whatsoever. Just brown dirt/sand as far as the eye could see. So it's fun to see it so beautifully green now :)

I wish I could show you pictures of my students back at school, working on the latest literature analysis or discussing theology or me helping with various homework assignments or upcoming projects. But since I can't, I'll say that while my job might be tiring at times, I do love what I do. I love working with these incredible individuals that God has called me to work with. That's a definite favorite of mine - this week and every week.

And since it's my blog, and I can, I'll share one last item. Only this one is not a favorite and is, instead, a not so favorite item...

I posted the picture above on Facebook earlier in the week, saying, Chubby chipmunk cheeks are cute 'til they're on you. On Sunday morning, I woke up to intense pain most of the day on the right side of my mouth. I knew what it was. I had a tooth that had broken this summer and a filling came out. By that evening, my cheek started swelling a bit. I barely slept that night. The Aleve I took barely touched the pain. Then, Monday morning, I woke up and my entire right side of my face was swollen - even my upper lip was swelling. So thankfully, my principal is great and told me I could skip the morning meeting. I ran to the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics. And then a friend went with me to the dentist to have it checked out. He confirmed what I was expecting... I needed to have a root canal. So I'll be going this Saturday (tomorrow) to have that done. The thought of having that done and the thought of going by myself is definitely not so favorite one too. But I'm going to be a grown up about it and go, get it done, and then afterwards, go by ice cream to treat myself to later that evening when I'm up to eating again ;)

And that's about it for me this week.

What about you?

What's been your favorite part of your week?

12 Years Ago

At the end of this week, it will be 12 years.

12 years ago...

I landed in Senegal for the first time.

So as I thought back to that time, I started to thinking of all the emotions I was feeling then. I started thinking of all the thoughts I was having. And I decided to write a letter to the Me of that time in my life...

Dear 23 (almost 24) years old Me,

Wow! You are so brave! 

You may not realize it yet. 

But trust me...

You are, indeed, brave. 

At this point, you're on an adrenaline high. 

You've had a roller coaster of emotions zooming through your heart and mind. ...from the extreme lows of saying goodbye to your family at the Atlanta airport to the extreme highs of the excitement of landing in Dakar. 

I realize it's scary. 

You've never even lived away from home.

 So I know you're nervous right now.

And while you've got a bit of teaching under your belt, it's not a lot. So your confidence in yourself as a teacher is quite low. 

Trust me... 

One day, twelve years from now, you'll be writing yourself a letter and smile at how confident you now (then?) feel as a teacher. After all, by that point, you'll know you're actually an Educational Rockstar ;)

And yes, you did read that correctly.

I said twelve years from now...

I know you're thinking you'll only be staying for one year (maybe 2 max). But just so you know... God has a sense of humor. So go ahead and get comfortable. You're going to be there a while. And in a few years, when you leave for a bit, you'll still end up coming back.

You're still finding your footing as a Missionary Teacher. 

Many of your missions supporters don't fully get what you do. You'll hear the following question a lot...

"So are you a missionary or are you a teacher?"

And each time, you'll take a deep breath, smile sweetly, and say...

I am a Missionary Teacher.

And then you'll explain what that means.

I won't lie to you.

Sometimes it's going to be hard.

Friends will leave.

There will be hard things to deal with back home in the US.

And the list goes on...

But trust me...

There will be plenty of good.

Today, you stepped on Senegalese soil for the first time. And when you did you instantly felt that you were at home.

Today, you fell in love with the country whose sandy streets and tall buildings, whose colorful outfits and lively music, whose open doors and hospitable people all make it the fun place you love.

12 years from now, you'll be in line at the post office, chatting with the worker, and tell her that while the U.S. will always be home... In a way, so will Senegal. Senegal is where God called you to go AND where you choose to live and the U.S. is where you visit. 

And you love the truth in that statement.

The past 12 years have produced rich memories that will last your heart for a lifetime. Take time to remember them. Take time to truly notice the goodness and faithfulness of God each step of the way. 

Take time to be grateful for all God's doing in your life in the next 12 years (and beyond). 

See ya in 12 years ;)

Sincerely,

35 (almost 36 year old Me)

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 Today, I'm joining Erika and Andrea, for their weekly Friday Favorites linkup and sharing about one of my most favorite topics to discuss - Today's my Senegal-iversary... The anniversary of the date I landed in Senegal for the very first time.

Showing Appreciation

Happy Friday, Y'all

Today is the last day of Teacher Appreciation Week in the US. They've even done a bit with it this week here at my school in West Africa.

I once read a quote that said...

Most teachers don't realize the impact they have on their students.

Growing up, I knew I wanted to become a teacher.

Some of my earliest memories involve me, standing in front of a row of stuffed animals and baby dolls, with a notepad and pencil in hand, teaching them some lesson or another or reading them some story I'd "written."

Eventually, I started Kindergarten and I met these amazing men and women, who were doing the job I knew I wanted to do. 

They were teachers. 

And they were amazing. 

Not because of any lessons they taught...

Although, I'm sure those were amazing too ;)

No. They were amazing because of the seemingly little things they did or said, that made such an amazing impact on the heart/mind of this future teacher. 

I remember my kindergarten teacher sitting beside me pointing to each word in the book I was reading. I remember her hugging me and cheering for me when I finished reading my very first book. She made me feel like I'd won a million books. And she made me want to keep reading more and more.

I remember my second grade teacher, on the last day before my family was moving away, walking down the hallway, holding my hand, telling me how smart I was and how she knew that one day I would do big big things in this world. She made me believe in myself and my ability to achieve great things.

I remember my third grade teacher, holding me, as I cried, worried about my mom who was recovering from a major surgery. I remember her praying with me and telling me that no matter what, Jesus loves me and would always take care of me. I remember her not leaving my side until I had calmed down. She made me feel loved and cared for and reminded me that even in a public school where you often don't hear His name, Jesus is right there with us.

I remember my 6th grade teacher, helping us stay calm and distracted during a schoolwide lockdown that lasted hours and hours. I remember her telling us stories and letting us play games and I remember her calmness, reassuring us that everything was okay. She taught me that sometimes teachers get put in hard positions. But no matter what, we keep our cool and take care of the babies in our care.

I remember my 8th grade science teacher, who upon realizing I was having a hard day, let me eat lunch with her in her classroom, where we talked about the difficulties of life as a middle schooler, as we prepped for that afternoon's experiment. She made me feel heard. She taught me that sometimes all a person needs is a listening ear.

I remember my home ec teacher in high school, who patiently worked with me to master sewing. And boy was she patient because I was so not good at it. But she didn't give up and she encouraged me every step of the way. She taught me that a little encouragement can go a long way. 

She also came and saw me in Senegal. So there's that too :)

I remember my high school math teacher, who did her best to make math fun for kids like me who absolutely hated the subject. She helped me see how I would use that math in life outside of those school walls one day. She taught me that learning could be both educational and fun at the same time.

I remember my 12th grade English teacher, meeting with me to go over my first ever research paper. I remember her helping me sort through the information I'd gathered, and showing me tips on piecing it all together. She helped me fall in love with both research and writing, something I still love today.

I remember my college French teacher, sitting beside me on the flight to Paris, asking me about my dreams for the future and how I saw me using the French skills I'd been learning. Ironically, neither of us knew at that point that I'd one day be living in a French-speaking country, using those skills she taught me.

I remember my first education professor, chatting with me for a couple hours in her office, after I received the news that my dad had cancer. She taught me that teachers need to get to know their students and see beyond what's simply written on their papers. We need to know them as people. We need to take the time to listen to them when they're hurting.

I remember my Russian History professor (long story as to why I took that class) taking a group of us to McDonalds after class one day to chat about some random topic we'd learned in class that day. I don't even remember what we were talking about. But I remember him and his wife, who'd joined us, encouraging us as young college students. It wasn't even the meal that meant the most, even though that was nice to receive as a poor college student. It was the time they spent talking with us, laughing with us, and taking an interest in our lives. That's what meant the most.

I remember my Teaching Special Ed professor, inviting me to speak to one of her classes, and share about my work in Senegal. I remember her introducing me and making me feel like a million bucks. She taught me that even after our students have left our classrooms, they're still "ours" for years to come.

I remember so much.

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My family moved a lot. 

I went to 10 different schools before graduating high school.

I went to a community college for one semester.

I got my Bachelor's degree.

I got my Master's degree.

And I'm less than a year away from getting my second Master's degree.

So I've had my fair share of teachers.

I could've told far more stories than the ones I shared above. 

But I'll leave it with this.

There are a few things that almost all of my teachers had in common.

They showed me they cared. 

They showed me I could be somebody. 

They showed me I was heard and valued. 

And most of all...

They showed me how to be a good teacher.

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At the end of this school year, I will have been a teacher for 12 1/2 years. I will have taught in 3 schools in two different countries. I will have taught General Ed. Elementary, ELL, and Special Education. And I will have taught well over 100 students, spanning grades Kindergarten through 12. 

I am a teacher.

And while the first reason for that is a calling God placed on my life... The second reason for this career path of mine is the incredible teachers (role models) I have had over the years. 

So yes, I definitely appreciate all of my own teachers.

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  Today, I'm joining Erika and Andrea, for their weekly Friday Favorites linkup and sharing about some of my favorite memories and life lessons from some of my favorite teachers.

6 Years

 6 years

6 years ago, my heart was hurting worse than ever before.

My dad had just passed away.

It was the day before my dad's 56th birthday.

It was only 9 days before my parents' 31 anniversary.

And it was hard...

So very hard.

Some days it still feels just like yesterday. 

And other days it feels like it's been an eternity.

My dad loved preaching.

In fact, he preached his last sermon from his hospital bed exactly one week before he passed away. Using Romans 8:18 as his primary verse, he reminded us that, though we may experience suffering and pain here on earth, we can trust in the hope of our Savior. We can trust in the knowledge that if we are saved, we will experience that glory that is beyond compare. 

 I am so incredibly thankful that his words are now etched into my memory. 

And not just that... 

I'm thankful for the love of the Bible he shared with me. 

I'm thankful for the model of Christian ministry he shared with me.

I'm thankful for the Christian heritage he passed on to me.

I'm thankful for the 29.5 years worth of memories.

 

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I've written memories-filled posts every year on the anniversary of his death, which can be found below. While still sad, it's nice for me to be able to look back and remember how God's been with me through the past 5 years...

1 year

2 years

3 years

4 years

5 years

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Today, I'm joining Ashley and Erika for their monthly Tuesday Talk link-up, where bloggers come together and talk about whatever is on our mind at the moment. And today, for me, that was a reminder of what happened 6 years ago.

Randomness on a Tuesday

Happy Tuesday Y'all

Ready for some randomness?

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Here's your funny kid story of the day...

Yesterday a student told me I had a lot of "glitter hairs."

Glitter = Gray

What I wanted to say...

Thanks, Kid. I'm pretty sure it's your fault I have them.

What I actually did...

Laughed

After all, what else can you do? Laugh at the craziness. It makes life much more enjoyable/tolerable after all. Laugh at the craziness. I think that's going to be my new motto in life. 

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12 years ago, I was offered a job at Dakar Academy. How in the world has that much time passed? Some days, it seems as if that were just yesterday... In that time, I've taught Elementary School (1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th), ELL (all grades), and SPED (all grades). I remember telling people before I left that I was just going for a year, maybe 2 years tops. And I'm thinking that God just laughed at me when I said that...

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It's almost Spring Break. We just have to finish out this week and next week. Then we'll have 2 weeks off for Spring Break. I love my job. I rally, truly do. But oh my word, Y'all... I'm so ready for Spring Break!

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I'm working on trusting in truth of the verse shown above. The thing is... I know it's true. But y'all, sometimes it's hard to connect what we know and what we feel. Sometimes the mind/heart don't work as closely as they should. Last week was intense. Between fears for safety in our country to the stress/added work load of switching back and forth between online learning and in-person learning to worrying about issues with my students to stuff going on back home and on and on... It's been a lot. But at the end of the day, I do know that Jesus is in control. I do know that He knows what's best for me. So I will continue to push through on the hard days and cling to the promises He's given me.

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 Happy Tuesday, Y'all

Today, I'm joining Ashley and Erika for their monthly Tuesday Talk link-up, where bloggers come together and talk about whatever is on our mind at the moment. And today, for me, that was a random assortment of things.

Randomness on a Tuesday

 Happy Tuesday, Y'all

Today, I'm joining Ashley and Erika for their monthly Tuesday Talk link-up, where bloggers come together and talk about whatever is on our mind at the moment. 

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Want to know what's on my mind at the moment?

A whole bunch of randomness, like...

Today is my brother's birthday. He's such a great guy! He loves his wife and daughters and treats them like the queen/princesses they are. He's generous and kind. He works ridiculously hard. I could keep going. I'm so grateful to have him as my brother. He's the best :)

Y'all... What is up with the weather back home?! It's so so cold there right now, which is obviously, so unlike Alabama. Also... Where were these cold temps when I was there last month? I'm a big fan of the cold. So I might be just a little jealous at the moment. Maybe... ;)

Valentines Day was this weekend. I can't say it's my most favorite holiday ever. It's the #1 day for magnifying singleness, whether you want it magnified or not. But, it was okay. I had breakfast with a friend. I joined one of my supporting churches in their online worship service. I did a bit of work in my classroom. I did some baking. And I spent some time resting/relaxing before starting the week ahead. Not a bad way to spend the day...

Oh... I did get this adorably cute card from a friend's son the other day. And I also got a couple roses and some candy too :) 

Last night, I called my mom and since she was at my brother's house, I got to chat with both of my nieces. They took me all around the house, pointing out all their favorite books and toys, telling me about their day, about them having school cancelled due to the crazy weather they're having, and more. It was definitely a super fun way to end my night :)

Last week, I was back in school. By the end of the week, I felt like I was finally back in my groove and all was good. But after 7 weeks away, I was absolutely exhausted every night the first few days back. One thing I am super grateful for is all the planning I did before leaving in December. Since I didn't know how long I'd need to be gone, I had to plan enough sub plans to last a long long time. And now, I am quite pleased with Past Me for doing that. It's kind of nice to have my afternoons/evenings free to hang out with friends or to go home and do absolutely nothing. I think I'm going to enjoy that :)

And speaking of school... I saw this quote and it's stuck with me.

 Oh how true it is!

There's all kind of other stuff on my mind. But these are the main things that made the cut. What about you? What's going on with you today?