Teachers say the strangest things...

There's a saying that says, "Kids say the funniest things..."

Well, sometimes. it's the teachers who says them. A few examples of things I've said are...

Please stop licking your arm.

Yes, I know "butt" rhymes with "what." It's still not an appropriate choice for your poem.

I understand that it rhymes, but you've used the word "fart" enough in that poem.

No thanks. I don't want any candy right now. (...said after seeing that piece of candy drop on the sidewalk full of dirt.)

Take the lizard out of your pocket. ...which was followed by, No! ...not in here! Take it outside!

Did you really just lick your shoe?!

No. I do not want to hear about your mom and dad's secret conversations.

Unless there is a teacher under your desk, you need to come out and join the rest of us..

If you don't leave the Velcro alone, I'm going to take away your shoes.

Yes. I did realize I have gray hair. But thanks for loudly pointing that out.

If you don't sit down and do what I said, I'm going to call Santa.

I don't know. Can you go to the bathroom? (...said when teaching the difference in Can I and May I)

Are you eating your worksheet?

I know you're hungry. It's almost lunchtime. I promise. But sweetie, we never eat glue. 

I think the top to the gluestick ran away with our missing pencils.

Money for supplies? Nah, I don't need that. (...insert sarcasm sign here)

You just walked out of the bathroom. Why didn't you use it then?

Don't make you give you THE LOOK.

I don't care if you want to win. It is NOT okay to throw the dodgeball at someone's head. 

I realize her hair is curly, but you still can't say it looks like worms.

If it isn't food, get it out of your mouth.

Please tell me that's not spit.

I don't care if they do that in the movies. We don't spit in our hand and then shake someone else's hand.

I know you're chatting with your friend and not working on your paper. I'm not dumb.

Your friend is not a dog. Stop petting her.

No. I was not alive when dinosaurs lived.

No. I am not as old as Methuselah. 

I so miss nap time.

And last, but certainly not least...

That's fine. Call me crazy. I embrace it.